Hoping for a Miracle
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Well I just want to say not feeling any better.. nothing has changed in the department of trying to get the rest of the electric. My fiance hasn't had any success in anything. so If I feel up to it I will post in the morning which will be my last post.. I am going to start getting things together tonight with the help of my fiance , wont be a lot cause we have no where to stay and no where to go and have exhausted everything we know to do.I will have to get a hold of the animal shelter for my 4 legged babies as they have to go somewhere and that just adds to the pain in my heart.I have been doing what I can trying to find somewhere we can go and there just inst a homeless shelter in our area and the closest is over 60 miles away, how we are going to get there is the next step as we do not own a car.. so thank you all for the prayers and I hope I feel better tomorrow and with this on me to I probably won't. throat is so sore so good thing I cant swallow as food is nill as well.. so God Bless to you all and Prayers are needed for the next leg in our journey to life without a roof. Thanks to all the kind words and prayers again..May God bless you all..
I would say Good Morning but its just morning on my end as I woke up with my throat swelled very bad with blisters on it so I have gotten strepp I do believe so I wont be out with the fiance trying today. so far nothing has happened to help and well tomorrow at noon is the cut off day for it all so all I can do is pray for a miracle.. I want to thank all for the prayers and thoughts and I still have the paypal account if anyone wants to help firstname.lastname@example.org and I want to thank the Angel who has helped and you know who you are so THANK YOU. every thing helps..ANyways just touching base and Im going to go lay back down not feeling grand at all.. God Bless
in response to Schmidty... well it is growing from the looks of the 2 different scans in a 3 week span so that is what is scaring me so I'm praying it isn't cancer he is only 28 and not a little dude.. he is 6'2 ft 400 lbs and he came from a lil one like me that is only 5'1 and 170. He is my baby but not the youngest.. And you are very welcome and thank you for always being kind and helpful to me.. I will look into the sites you gave me.. GOd Bless
in response to Schmidty... Just have had a few send me different messages in private and saying things that were kinda rude and just never said anything just not what I expected as someone who actually needs help so I will keep things to myself.. I know a lot have been burnt by people and its understandable so I won't complain and vent as everything I'm in has been my life choices and my decisions and I can blame a lot on economy but I'm trying to make changes and they just don't seem to fall into place.. as the old saying goes when it rains it pours and I want to thank the ones who sent prayers and thoughts of compassion and the gifts of caring.. Then on top of all Im going through I get the news of my oldest son is going to have to have a Biop on a 3 cm lump in his left lung that is active and all I can think is My son has cancer and it scares me but not sure till the biop on the 28th. And Schmidty you been nothing but nice and caring so your good.. Have a Great day all
My mind is almost in the state of pure confusion.. so much has whirled around my head and heart for the past week of wishing it would all just stop and go away and everything would be all peachy and normal and it just keeps coming at me. I'm so tired of walking the floors, crying, worrying, spazzing out, loosing it, begging, pleading, explaining myself ,I think I have finally reached the point of laying down and giving up. I believe in the power of prayer and I thank each and everyone of you who have sent and said prayers for me they mean the world to me. I'm just really going to stop and sit and wait for all the walls to tumble as I feel I have done all I can..So I sit here and read all the back and forth comments that is going on and not pointing fingers at anyone but we all are responsible for our own lives and how we live them and how we live them is how we chose for them to turn out in one way or the other.. we all have to take blame for all the downfalls in our own lives and I am the first to stand up and say my life is the way it is as because I chose it and this is just the way it came out .. even when things wasnt done on purpose or by mistake or just done.. its my life and Im the one running it and living it so Please can we all just get along and take responsibility for what we do, say, and how we choose to live. I love everyone and the words of wisdom and the help and prayers that were offered to me.. but The back and forth really needs to just stop and lets all just take responsibility for our own downfalls, yes economy plays a part in a lot of the money downfalls but we all have to hold our own selfs accountable for what we do , how we do it and how we say it and how we live it.. So now if anyone wants to curse me or call me names or tell me I'm this and that please go for it.if it makes you feel better. as I am responsible for my life and my words.. All I ask is for the prayers and words of wisdom and help continues for me and my family and I shall do the same for all of you.. May God Bless you all!!! Have a Blessed day!!!!
in response to Starshine... Thank you Starshine and I am hoping the same thing but from the way the specialist talked and everything it doesn't look or sound good. I literally have no one here to talk to so if I post to much here just let me know as I'm so scared and just wish the test was already done so we know and not have to endure this long wait for the test to be done as that was the earliest they could do it and to get his insurance to approve the testing.. still do not understand the approval of something like this but I just pray that its all caught in time and can be cured or fixed or better yet not even be cancer.. again Thank you all for your prayers and kind words.. God Bless
in response to positive thoughts... Thank You positive thoughts for your prayers.. I have done nothing but cried since my son told me all this and I am shaking all over with worry and I will continue to worry till they do the bronchoscopy on the 28th.. My son is only 28 and to even think it could possibly be cancer is scaring me and has me beside myself with fear.. We have gotten another extension on the Electric and they have given us till Friday now at noon and that is only because my Landlords wife went down and talked with them and its based on her word..but after my son told me this that just didn't seem as important as his health. I still need all the help I can get and have dealt with more people offering to give me a loan and then want me to send them 200 dollars as a fee and I finally told everyone of them off as they were nothing but scammers and I have enough going on right now then to deal with liars and people who are out to deceive others in their times of need..I am putting this all in the Lords hands and in my faith and if everything falls into place then it will happen but all I want is my son to be cancer free.. I have dealt with a lot lately but this has really just gotten the best of me as he is my baby and no one wants their child to be sick and go through something like this.. but again thank you for the prayers... God Bless
I just got news from my oldest son who is 28 and that they are going to be doing a bronchoscopy on his lung on the 28th as he has a 3cm lump that is active and could very well be cancer and it doesn't look good at all.. I can not take much more of everything I have been dealing with worrying about bills and food and now I have just found out my son possibly has lung cancer and is only 28 years old.. He is now at the top of my list as My children mean more to me then anything in this world..I just want to ask for prayers that this will turn out to be nothing serious but the waiting is what will drive me and the family over the edge.. I know they say God doesn't put any more on your shoulders then he thinks you can bare but I can not honestly take anymore.. I want to thank anyone who has put me in their prayers and I ask you add my son Michael to the prayers that this will all come out ok..God Bless
You are forgiven hun.. I sent you a one on one so i thank you for feeling the way I do about liars and deceivers in this world, just been going through alot past few days as I explained to you in the one on one.. you have done no harm .. You are a great person and don't ever think differently.. I value anyones opinion I was just making sure I hadnt done something or said anything wrong.. (((HUGS)))
in response to Schmidty... I agree.. I know I have been trying to figure out what has been going on and have only figured out half of it but if you ever want to just vent then private message me as I will always try to answer and talk..I have always tried to give anyone the benefit of the doubt but when you get betrayed or scammed it so hurts to the point you want to stay angry and I know they say that is not good to stay angry and get stressed but its just so hard when you put all you have into caring for someone or doing something you think is good and turns out to be bad .. well I get angry and want to get even but that isn't right..and I have been known to speak my mind out and openly and if the truth hurts then they shouldn't have lied cause thats when the hurt really starts..Its a shame that people feel like they have to scam or make up or be deceiving to get somewhere in life when all they have to do is be honest and true and be themselves and not someone else.. if you don't like me as me then you sure aren't gonna like me trying to be someone else because then I'm nothing but a liar when I'm not myself..That is what my Grandmother always taught me.. So I'm me and that is all I can be.. And Schmidty.. thank you for letting me vent and talking with me.. it helps to know someone actually understands me.. God Bless you and (((Hugs)))
in response to Schmidty... Thank You Schmidty...I hope so.. just really feel like a fool right now for this happening.. I was finally excited about doing something that hopefully was going to help some with my wish and needs and to find this out, Its beyond being upset and deceived and hurt.. I should have realized sooner but I did't and now I just want to make it right so by sending everything I had to the craigslist owner hopefully it will help stop them for a moment as I'm sure they have many more ways to scam.. I'm trying to hold my head up.. God Bless
in response to Anomaly... But its bad enough that there are people like me who are struggling so bad and going through the same things and worse and then someone gives you false hope and Its just so disappointing.. I am just so upset over this and the people just move onto another innocent victim.. Its so so wrong and I will go to whatever means to stop this lady..I'm already thrown in the towel at this point as nothing is ever what it seems. I will fight and still do what I have to do to try and keep my electric on so I do not get evicted but not many more hours left but I wont give up... and I have my faith and belief in God and if it is to happen then it will happen for a reason and what that reason is I do not know but I will have to accept it but I wont go down without a fight to accomplish it.. I really wish I could win the lottery( thats real good don't even have a dollar to play but if I did) I would help every person I could because there are so many that fall for these type of people and scam them and I know your not suppose to hold anger in your heart for others but sometimes its just impossible not to with people like the ones scamming..But on another note I hope everyone who is needing prayers and help I pray for you to recieve what you need.. .. may all have a good day and God Bless
Well what is on my mind today is just when I thought I was doing something to help my situation out I learn the person who was givng me an opportunity to make money online was scamming me.. had me posting ads on craigslist and it just kept seeming not right on some things she was saying so I go and do a search on the email she had me using to post the ads with and what do I find. ITS ON THE SCAMMERS LIST FOR EMAILS ON CRAIGSLIST. Well I saved all the conversations and ads she had me post and all the information and sent it to craigslist with all her information.. I do not mind doing work but to be dishonest is not me and why I didnt check it all out to start with is beyond me , I guess it was just that Im so desperate to be able to survive and trying and worring and praying it slipped my mind..Well Its all been turned in and documented and I posted over 80 ads( they were for vacation rentals) for her but they will be removed I will see to that as I am not the type of person to do wrong. wasn't raised to try to hurt or scam anyone.. I feel so so bad and can not stop crying because of what someone had me doing and I was so blinded by desperation to try and make things work. just glad I found all this out and didn't accept one penny of the dirty money she would have given me or not given me its just still wrong and I feel so bad.. What tipped me off more then anything is today I asked her did she need anything for tax forms and she didn't need any of my info for a 1099 form for any taxes or anything like that so thats when I felt I needed to look into it more and I just made my paypal account(well son helped me) and she does have that email for it but nothing more so she cant do anything to my account can she?. I saved all the emails she sent me from her email and its probably a fake email at that to find her but some how someway I will do what I can to stop her..How come there is so many that take advantage of the ones who are asking for help and really need the help and they swoop in and take advantage of them. I just can not stop crying thinking I was maybe gonna be able to hopefully climb my way out of this situation and survive just would take a bit and now its like the last bit of hope I had is gone.. sorry everyone for venting just need someone to really talk to as Im just upset and hurt and mad at myself.. I hope everyone is at least trying to have a good day and God Bless
in response to lbart123... In response to lbart123 Yes we went down Id say 2 weeks ago or maybe a little longer and applied and haven't heard anything back from them yet. we took them everything they requested and they said we should know something within 30 days so its still a waiting game for them. You have to know this town they do not get in any hurry here for anything as there is so so many that abuse the system and it just hurts the ones who really need the help. I do not like to talk of others and how they choose to live but it is very aggrivating to see people driving around in their fancy cars and going to the store and having bags of groceries and see them pay for it with the EBT card. Its not my place to judge but they will be judged one day and who they have to answer to is the one who will see their faults and deceptions.. So hopefully it will come soon for us as we could honestly use it to help.. GOd Bless and everyone have a Blessed weekend!
Well I hope everyone has had a good week so far and that anyone who needs help may you find a way to receive the help you need. I have went and paid 120 .00 on the Electric so its on but got till Monday to finish out the rest so still got 147.00 to go but I have faith in hoping I can get it accomplished. I went and helped a neighbor with planting her flowers and also cleaned for her and with what my fiance gathered turning in cans we managed to pay the 120.00 on it so we have managed so far but still need help.. I got my son to open me a paypal account because I have had a few ask about it.. I guess all you need is the email address that was used to open it and it is email@example.com if anyone is able to help in any way. I am thankful for all the prayers everyone has given me as I know they help as we have managed to get the 120.00 on our own and didn't think it would happen but faith and prayer goes along way. so Hope everyone has their need for help is granted and I will keep you all in my prayers as well. God Bless
Well not to discredit anyone who has helped others but all I seem to be getting in my email is people who "claim" they want to help and will do this and that and then within a day or so are requesting me to pay them $100.00 to 300.00 for transfer of a donation and crazy things like that. If I had the 100.00 to 300.00 I would be asking for help like I have been as a 100.00 will go a long way for me and my finace to eat for a week and not have to search all day walking anywhere and everywhere just to get enough to be able to eat and survive.I am blessed to have all the prayers for me and will always be blessed to accept them as I need them.. just wish the ones who want to try to make a buck off of the one's who really need help is sad..I'm still struggling and I thank all who have posted to me and have sent prayers Thank you but for the ones who just email me and end up wanting me to send them money for help that I asked for .. forget it I been scammed years ago and wont fall for it again.. May God wrap his arms around us all and grant us the ability to make it through these trying times.. I pray for all who needs help and all who gets it and survives.. May God Bless You all!!!!
Well today I just want to add that I set up a paypal account for myself since I have had a few ask about it.. I do not know much about it but my son helped me with it.. It's set up with my email firstname.lastname@example.org.,.. that is my Maiden name , not that I'm asking for everyone to add anything but for the ones who asked.. I'm still trying to get the funds for my electric which right now fiance is out helping a neighbor and gonna make around 40 more to add to it so we have now 60 of it together out of 267.79 but we are not giving up.. I have been doing some things online for a very nice lady and it should help but it takes 2 weeks to get the 1st of any pay.. not a lot but anything helps.. so when I loose electric here my Mother did say I could come to her place to use the computer to do the work... so there is a little hope but I hope everyone who has been asking for help is receiving some kind as I know if you keep faith it will come and sometimes it may take a bit but it happens anyways God Bless and everyone have a Blessed Day!
I Hope everyone is having a good day.. I managed to talk to my Electric Company and I have till Friday at noon to pay 267.79 to them but so far not having any luck on finding work or any help. I tried the 211 for help and closest place is 6 hours away and there is nothing in my county I am in..My fiance is out again trying to find some kind of work.. he worked for a lady yesterday for over 4 hours and made 20 bucks but he didn't turn it down as at this point anything is a help.I keep praying and refuse to give up hope that in the end this nightmare we are in will turn into a pleasant dream and everything will be ok.. Anyways just letting everyone who has replied to me know I'm still trying and doing everything I know and to let others know keep praying and keep the faith and things have to happen for the better.. Thats what I am hanging onto is prayer and hope and faith.. May God Bless You all.. Hope everyone is having a Good Day God Bless
Today I am pretty bummed out.. have had a few responses on other sites but not sure if some are legit. I have been scammed many years ago(5 to be exact) out of over 500 bucks I still have all the info on a floppy disk and nothing ever got done about it..Still haven't gotten the help with utilities.. cut off on electric is the 3rd but thats tomorrow so I have till Monday.. so after then I wont even be able to get online to look for help or anything.. I'm just lost. I have cried all day so far.. supper last night was toast with jelly on it.. and thats what I have eaten today so far.. I pray daily for a Miracle and well I will continue as I know the Lord will not put more on my shoulders then I can bare.. I am trying today to find placements for my little 4 legged babies (dogs)as they are on the last of their food and can not afford to get any more for them. I have a 7 lb Chihuahua named Pixie and a 8 month old Chihuahua /Silky mixed named Rocky and also I have a Chihuahua/Pekanese named Snuggles she is 4 years old.,. It kills me to let them go as they have laid in my arms and beside me as I cry and always show me love but I can no longer care for them. We are still without running water but the neighbor is letting us get water from his home..We even went to our Landlord for help and they were unable to do anything for us and I broke down and even went to my family in which I already knew their answers, they say they are broke as well and not to put anyone down it really is annoying when someone says they are broke as they are caring in a trunk load of food into the house and showing you new outfits they just bought.. but God says not to hold grudges and judge others.. I'm at my wits end but won't give up till the end.. fiance is out today walking the streets gathering what he can to turn in Monday when the scrap yard opens but its at least some kind of food for us.. I know you all have heard a lot of sob stories and I am sorry for laying it all out but I really just need someone to talk to so I do not feel so alone.. If I do not get to post anymore after Monday I will still keep all of you in my prayers and hope that you all get your wishes and miracles and needs met as in this world today times are getting harder and the struggles are getting worse.. May God Bless you all in your lives and may things always start to improve.. the few I have met on here thank you so much for your comments to me and for the prayers.. We will survive but right now it just doesn't feel that way. I pray you all get the help you need and that life will improve for us all.. God Bless and take care ((((Hugs to you all))) and may God wrap his arms around you all and things get better....
Thank you pebblesrock for sending me a message of hope.. I hope you as well find what you need.. you are the only one who even responded to anything I said.. We are without water and for the past week or so we have been cleaning copper and turning it in just to be able to buy food for the day. my hands are swelled from it and now we are completely out of meats to eat, we have bread and butter and a few can goods so that will be our meal for tonight.I have looked online for any help and there is none so far that has even responded.. you see all this stuff about people helping people and well I do not see it.. I dont want a million dollar handout .. My fiance walks the streets looking for work, we have actually walked the streets and roads for cans to turn in and have to depend on a neighbor to take us to turn them in and well we do give him 10 bucks of anything we get for the trip to turn it in.. and every day is a new obstacle and they just keep getting harder and harder to get over .. now in 3 days I will loose my electric which is 250 plus dollars and when I loose that then I loose my internet so no way to even find someone to talk to. I was born and raised in this town and it saddens me to see no one offer not even a dollar to help or work so we can earn the dollar.. its a shame that people have become like that.. just other day I seen a lady walking streets like us looking for cans and I had loaf of bread and I had her come to my house and gave her half of it and some can goods knowing I would soon be out.. thats just me.. just because there is no one who will help us I still want to help others..anyways I hope all who is needing help will soon get it.. I pray for us all that we all receive some kind of miracle in our lives to make things better.. I put my faith and hope in the Lord above in hopes he see's that we all have easier roads to travel and less obstacles to overcome.. may we all find the things we need in life to make it easier to survive.. Amen and God Bless